The idea of Rose, Thorn, Bud came to me via my daughter's camp, where most good things come from. Since then I have learned that it's also popular with organizations that teach mindfulness, such as Mindful Schools. This is a way for us to reflect as a family, and we do this at family dinner. So today I'd like to introduce it to you.
Rose: A highlight, success or something positive.
Questions to ask:
What was the highlight of your day?
How were you successful?
What are you most proud of?
Thorn: A challenge you experienced or something you can use more support with. Questions to ask:
What was most stressful?
Identify causes of difficulty
What made it hard to be successful?
Bud: New ideas or something you're looking forward to knowing or understanding more.
What are you looking forward to?
Describe opportunities for growth that excite you
What new ideas for yourself do you have?
Later, once everyone is comfortable with the activity, we can ask, how can we turn Thorns into Roses? (This has to do with reframing your thoughts around something.) And, how can Thorns be useful to us? Sometimes they can't, they're just thorns, and that's ok too. All feelings can be accepted. But we can offer up the possibility of exploring other ways of looking at things, as changing our cognition around something can be very powerful. As per usual, modeling changing your own thoughts on something can be very powerful.
This activity is so beneficial for the first of the 4 C's of Parenting: Connection. Throughout this blogpost I will be weaving in the 4 C's. These four tenets are based in Adlerian Psychology.
Children need to feel Connection
That they are Capable
That they Count
That they have the Courage
More to come on that, and for now find space when you can--in the car, at dinner, at bedtime--to incorporate Rose, Thorn and Bud into your routine and watch the connection between you and your loved ones blossom.
Yours in Parenting,